ON BEING SINGLE - So Worth Loving

Thursday, January 30, 2014

It has been three months since I've been single and let me say that it flew by quickly.  I remember those initial dark days so vividly and how I could not even fathom there being a light at the end of the tunnel.  I didn't know how I could go on without my ex.  Since then, so much has changed and happened.  I feel like I've found myself again (because I definitely lost her in that relationship), and learned some BIG lessons along the way.

A few weeks ago I came across So Worth Loving brand, and their message hit right at home for me.  It inspired me to express some of what I experienced with my past relationship and so I just wanted to take a moment to share some thoughts on being single and being "so worth loving".

Toward the end of my relationship I felt completely worthless.  I had not one single drop of self confidence left in me.  Prior to the constant verbal abuse, I was one of those girls who loved taking "selfies" and the last one I had taken was months and months ago - heck I didn't even have a recent picture of me on my blog.  I was called every single name in the book by my ex, no lie.  And the name calling was a daily habit.  When your partner gets mad at you for apologizing to their child for not picking up juice because you sincerely forget - HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

Enter the So Worth Loving brand.  Their message is so simple, yet so real and relevant.  People need to be reminded all the time that THEY TOO.. are so worth loving.  More importantly, not everyone is worthy of your love.  Some people don't deserve your love, time, attention, money, efforts, etc. and we need to be strong enough to defend our worth.
There are three things that I have vowed to NEVER LET HAPPEN AGAIN:

1. I will never let a man complete me. I am complete in Jesus, and will have a man complement me, rather than complete me (Colossians 2:10).

2. I will never find (or define) my identity in a man.  Nothing in this world is promised to last forever.  Why should who I am be found in another human being? When that man walks out of my life, he will not be taking who I am with him.  When that man walks out of my life, I will not be left soul-less and have to re-define who I am as a person again.  My identity is in Christ, and I am wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

3. I will never let my joy be fulfilled by a man.  To give a man so much power as to say that he is your sole source of joy and happiness is a foolish thing.  It is only the joy found in Jesus that fills my soul (Romans 15:13).

What are some things you have learned from your past relationships that you will (or did) not carry into your next relationship.

PS: I know some of you reading may not be a Christian, or believe in the Bible - but this is my truth; and if it isn't your cup of tea, I hope you can understand where I am coming from and still relate somewhat to my reasoning and what is truth for me.

For more on The Brave Dame series, click here.

xoxo, Aukele
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  1. You go, girl! You are so brave for sharing your story with us and I'm glad you're feeling whole and complete again :) By sharing I'm sure you're helping many people that are (or were!) in the same spot as you, and that's an incredible feeling. Go on with the selfies, my friend!

  2. Great post Aukele! I agree with each of the points that you listed. I think everything you spoke to here is so important for people to hear. Thank you for being willing to share! :)

  3. Thanks Kayli. I really hope my story can give encouragement to someone else :)

  4. Oh thank you Crystal. You are always so sweet.

  5. Such truth! I truly believe we must be our own before we can be another's...that's some quote, I'm pretty sure! Though I'd alter it to say that when we're with another...we're still our own. ;]

  6. Roger that sister!!! (sorry that's the Hawaii dialect coming out of me). You couldn't have said it any better ;)


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