How to Keep Lifelong Friendships

Thursday, July 17, 2014


Life is a wild, crazy place to not have a best friend (or two).  Friends are such an important part of your social circle.  They are your cheerleaders, #1 fans, partners in crime.  They are the ones you can feel most comfortable with, without feeling judged or being lectured.
I am lucky to have three best friends.  Two that live here, and my college best friend that lives in Washington.  Today I wanted to talk about Geneva and Melissa (better known as Gee and Miss).  I’ve known them pretty much my entire life.  Miss and I had been going to school together since we were seven years old, and Gee joined the group when we were eleven; however we’ve all known each other longer than that through children’s church at our church.  These two are the only friends from high school that I keep in touch with on a regular basis.  No, not just social media – we’re talking; weekly group texts, phone calls and dinner dates at least once a quarter (though those are somehow turning more frequently into lunch dates).  Hey! We’re nearing thirty people.

Here are SIX reasons our friendship has lasted throughout the years:

1) We are happy and mad for each other when the other is happy and mad.
We support each other throughout the feelings of daily life.  If Miss is mad at her girlfriend, we’re mad too.  When Miss makes up with her girlfriend, cause she is the sweetest thing ever – we’re genuinely happy for her.
2) We share our honest opinions without judging personal choices.
We all go through times in life where we vent out situations and receive advice or guidance from each other (solicited or not).  I think what keeps us going is that we all respect each other’s choices even though we might not agree with it.  We’re there for each other and will support each other through all of life’s curveballs.
3) We can be 100% completely ourselves.
We’ve known each other for well over ten years, and we can be our truest selves, quirks and all unabashedly.  We’ve also evolved with each other.  Everyone changes over time, and we still accept and love each other through good and bad.
4) We can “tease” each other and not be “girls” about it.
Hawaii has a different culture when it comes to “teasing”.  If you didn’t grow up here – it is a definite learning curve; and even at that, sometimes people just don’t adapt to it.  It isn’t really teasing to us, but more like “razzing” if that makes any sense.  For instance...

5) We are always there for each other when we’re needed the most.
When I went through my break up last October I didn’t really expect my friends to be there for me the way they were – simply because during that relationship I wasn’t the best friend a friend could have.  I disengaged and my life revolved around my ex.  But they were THERE.  We went to dinner that first weekend and just let me air out everything, REPEATEDLY.  They helped me move out of my place, went on errands with me, helped me set up my dog’s kennel.  They were there without question – and I will cherish that forever.  Not only physically, but constant texts – updating them on the latest and greatest; without showing irritation or the feeling of.. “she’s going over this drama AGAIN?!”
6) We aren’t jealous people.
As we grow older and evolve we all will have different people coming in and out of our lives.  Sometimes those new relationships may be “on blast” on social media, and sometimes friends can become jealous or envious.  We’re not like that.  We all have our own lives and different relationships with people – but it doesn’t change how close we are as friends and our bond.  The three of us are very secure in that and it is the glue that holds us together.

Do you have any tips on how you've kept your lifelong friendships?

xoxo, Aukele
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