Loving Better

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by" - F. Burton Howard
That quote couldn't be truer than true.  If I've learned anything from the two relationships previous to the one I am in now - it is everything that quote encompasses.  This love that I have - it is a different love.  Going into it I knew that if I wanted a different outcome *cough - a relationship that lasts*, that I couldn't go about this relationship as I did my other ones.  I needed to change something - IN ME, first and foremost.  You know that saying, "... be the change you wish to see in the world." It completely implies not only to the world as a whole, but your personal world as well!

Not saying that I'm perfect, because that is by no means.  I have made mistakes in this relationship - as he has.  I have learned from those mistakes, as he has.  We grow with each other and the beautiful thing of it all is that we still keep that honeymoon love going.  Of course the puppy love stage is over where we talk all day on texts and phone calls when we have a day off - but we're still honeymooning it through the thick and thin.

One day I might break it down for you all my mistakes I've made and what I'm doing different - but for now... If you're single, next time you start dating someone or are in a relationship I encourage you to take a look at yourself and figure out some of the things that you did that played a factor into the demise of a previous relationship and purposefully change that this time around.  And if you're in a relationship - then re-evaluate yourself, and bring back some of that old self that he/she first fell in love with!  

The biggest change I've made in this relationship is controlling myself during arguments and heated discussions.  In my last relationship I would fly off the handle.  Although that may be attributed to different circumstances and the situation - that was a very ugly Aukele, and not someone I want to be ever again.  This time around, I'm calm and collected  - yet strong and firm when I need to be.  Most of all - I always bring it back to love.  Though I might be mad or hurt (or vise versa) - I never stop telling him I love him - and to be honest, bringing that simple phrase into the mix amongst the rage I feel has kept our relationship from a few breaking points.  So I guess I'm ending with that - don't forget that you love the person you with.  You might not like them in the moment, but you do still love them.  I'm pretty sure that whether you're the right person or wrong person in the situation, being told your loved softens the blow and kind of brings it back home!

Update:  I was going through some old posts, and this post reflect when I made that change to control my tongue.  I hope it encourages you today!

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